Are We There Yet, Dad?

June 9, 2010.

As I recall my childhood with my father, there are a number of memories that stand out—getting our scuba diving certification in Monterey, photo-copying my hands on the copier at his office, backpacking trips to Yosemite, whale watching off the Farallon Islands, building a tree house together from scratch, and doing my general best to live up to everything that comes along with being daddy’s little girl.

In my mind, I’ve been fortunate to have the best parents in the world, and yet I don’t spend nearly as much time with them as I should. When I was in high school and college, hanging out with dad was at times an obligation—a constant reminder to push for success and prioritize the activities around me. These days, my dad and I are two of a kind, so annoyingly alike that we find ourselves debating just about everything, but learning from one another’s perspectives while respecting our subtle differences. Now, more than anything, I look forward to those encounters and relish our adult relationship.

This week, I’m driving up to southern Oregon with my dad to raft the Wild & Scenic Rogue River on a 4-day wine-tasting trip. What better way to celebrate the approach of Father’s Day than to disconnect in the outdoors? Since my dad is the owner of a software company specializing in big mainframe databases, I wanted to vacation somewhere that was free of the distractions of everyday life and would allow those responsibilities to flow furthest from his mind while offering us some good-old-fashioned quality father-daughter time. Since there’s no cell reception on the river or outlet to charge up a laptop, it’s the perfect setting to reconnect with each other.

Even the anticipation of our trip has been enjoyable. We’ve been anxiously discussing the logistics for weeks now. We even spent an entire day at REI stocking up on new gear that will keep us comfortable in any weather condition. It’s been a long time since we’ve been camping together, or even on a road trip for that matter. I personally am excited to take on the Class III rapids in an inflatable kayak; it’s like my own mini raft! Based on previous experience, there’s no telling if (or more likely, when) I may flip. My dad will probably stick with the more stable oar raft, happily picking his guide’s brain for facts about the local geology, flora and fauna. I, however, will be keeping my eyes peeled for the natural water slide at Tate Creek that I’ve heard so much about.

We’ll be pampered with gourmet food and distinguished wines from the foothills of northern California—hardly roughing it. I look forward to relaxing evenings around the campfire, eating s’mores under star-filled skies and sharing time together. Hopefully my dad’s snoring doesn’t disturb everyone in camp…better limit him to two glasses of wine.

Out of all the lessons my dad has taught me, one stands out above the rest: you must first disconnect to reconnect. I hope that you find a little piece of yourself in your dad this Father’s Day, and may your time spent together be everything but an obligation.

Lauren de Remer

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